worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
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He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
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i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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