i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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