i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
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no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
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Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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