went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
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His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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