how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
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A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
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I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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