i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You're earring is so big in my mouth
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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