I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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