Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
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Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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