4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I have tasted many bathrooms
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