i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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