You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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