so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
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we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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