Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
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I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
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I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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