the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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