I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
i believe in u and ur pee
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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