oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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