people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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