yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
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Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
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He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
All I want is dick and wine.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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