R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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