awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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