did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize