just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Randomize