We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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