he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
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Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
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This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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