You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
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Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
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her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
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