once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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