genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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