when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
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he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
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Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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