Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
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Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
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YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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