I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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