i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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