those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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