dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
she told me i tasted like america
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
This is classic penis vs brain.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize