I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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