I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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