he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize