I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize