Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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