I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
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I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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