that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
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You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
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I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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