Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
and she was petting her beer can
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did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
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I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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