Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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