i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
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