also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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