For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
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im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
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You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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