Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
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Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize