Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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