Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize