god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
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Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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