He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
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